Lifestyle Definitions

Sometimes those of us who have been around for a long time assume that everyone knows what we mean when we use a term.  I thought it might be helpful to post this, which is a list of definitions of terms you might see used in a lifestyle connotation.  This is not meant to be a complete list, I’m sure I have forgotten some.  It’s also my definition for these items, though they are definitions that would be generally accepted   Please do keep in mind that your mileage may vary.

24/7: a relationship in which the partners are in their chosen roles 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Adult Babies: also known as AB's or infantilists, are people who role play acting like babies, wearing diapers, etc.  Not to be confused with pedophilia, this is role-play only.

Age Play: when one partner assumes the role of an adult and the other assumes the role of the child.  Not to be confused with pedophilia, this is role-play only.

Alligator Clamps: a clamp with jagged teeth that attach to the flesh.

Animal Training: role-play in which one partner is an animal handler/owner/trainer and the other is the animal.  Pony play and puppy play are the two most popular forms of this interest.

B&D, Bondage and Discipline: making the submissive physically helpless, then exposing him or her to “discipline,” actions that range from uncomfortable to painful.

Ball Gag: a gag with a “ball” which fits into the mouth.

Ball Stretcher: a collar-like toy used in CBT that is fastened around the scrotum above the balls, which stretches the scrotum away from the body. 

Bash: a gathering of kinky individuals, rather like a convention.  Normally a bash offers a fairly extensive “dungeon,” with equipment provided, seminars and demonstrations on various issues of interest to the leather community and other more light-hearted events, such as a slave auction or equestrian event.

BDSM Emblem: a recently designed symbol, based on the yin/yang symbol, in black and blue.

BDSM: a six-for-four acronym, encompassing Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism. 

Bear: a term usually applied to a gay man who is hairy and larger–sized. 

Birch, Birching: a bundle of twigs, traditionally from a birch tree, or a light wooden rod usually used to strike the buttocks.

Bisexual: Someone who is attracted to and/or has relationships with both sexes

Block and Tackle: a mechanical arrangement that uses wheels and rope or chain to raise weight with little effort, as in a suspension scene. 

Blood Sports: play that involves the breaching of the skin and the letting of blood.  The most common one is cutting.  Care must be taken to avoid the transmission of blood-born illnesses, such as AIDS and hepatitis. 

Body Modification: this includes tattooing, branding, corseting, piercing, cutting, scarification, etc.  

Body Worship: usually refers to oral service to the dominant and implies no limits regarding oral contact. 

Bondage: a method for rendering a submissive physically helpless. These include but are not limited to rope ties, handcuffs and mummification.  They can also include verbal restraint, in the sense of the requiring a submissive to not move even though they are not restrained physically.  These are referred to as “bonds of air.”

Boot Worship, Shoe Worship: offering oral service in the shape sucking, kissing or licking clean a boot or shoe, usually a high-heel.

Bottom: one who receives pain or bondage in a scene, but who may or may not have a relationship of power exchange with another person. 

Bottoming: to assume the role of the bottom within a BDSM scene.

Branding: the creating of a scar on the skin by use of a heated metal object.  This is very painful and the scarring is hard to control.  This is a severe form of body modification. 

Breath Control: a form of edgeplay in which the ability to breathe is restricted.  This is not an activity for novices, and should never be done for more than very brief intervals. 

BS, Brown Showers: play involving feces. 

Buggy Whip: a piece of tack with a long, semi-flexible shaft with a short cracker on the end.

Bullwhip: a heavy plaited leather whip usually ranging in length from 10’ to 12’.  The distinctive crack of a bullwhip is caused by the end of the whip traveling fast enough to break the sound barrier.  Obviously, great care must be used with any whip of this kind, and this is not for inexperienced players.

Butterfly Board: a toy used in CBT, it is a board with a hole cut through it.  The board is placed so the cock and balls are brought through that hole and then the skin of the penis and/or scrotum is attached to the board by pinning it with needles. 

Cane: a thin flexible rod, traditionally of bamboo or rattan, used to strike the body, usually across the buttocks.

Carabiners: a clip used in mountain climbing that is also suitable for bondage situations.

Cat o’ Nine, Cat: a whip consisting of a handle and multiple braided tails extending from the handle, which may have weighted or cutting ends.  A very severe whip, capable of inflicting serious damage, it was the traditional implement for naval punishment.

Catheter: flexible tubing used in medicine, usually to release urine by threading it through the urethra. 

CBT, CBTT: cock-and-ball torture, cock, ball and tit torture. CBT involves the “torture” of the male genitals; tit torture involves the rough treatment of nipples on either the male or female. 

Chastity Device: any of a variety of devices designed to make sexual intercourse impossible while the device is worn. 

Clamp, Clip: a gripping device used to put pressure on specific body sites, particularly nipples and genitals of both sexes.  These may be specifically designed for this purpose or a “pervertible,” such as a clothespin or a hair clip. 

Cock Ring/Cock Strap: Rubber or metal ring that slips round base of cock and balls when flaccid. 

Collar: a symbol of ownership within the BDSM lifestyle; may also indicate a limited term of ownership such as a play collar.  Not all visible collars represent ownership and not all ownership is represented with visible collars, however.

Collaring: a ceremony in which a submissive formally accepts the dominant's collar and becomes "officially" owned. This is the BDSM equivalent of a wedding, and is often treated with the same celebratory festivities. 

Community: an encompassing term which refers to the others within the lifestyle, usually those involved in organizations or groups; a group of like-minded individuals.

Consensual: something that all participants have freely agreed to, in an informed manner.  Consent must also be informed consent. 

Corporal Punishment: a “punishment” involving the infliction of pain.  This may be truly punishment, as in a paddling for a misdeed, or it may be part of a role-playing scene. 

Cracker: the end of a whip.

Crop: a riding whip with a semi-flexible shaft and a flattened end.

Cross Dresser:  someone who dresses in the clothing style of the other sex, as when a male dresses up as a female or a female dresses up as a male.

Cupping: the placing of suction devices on the skin, used to sensitize those areas.  This activity can cause welts. 

Cutting: a technique in which cuts are made in the skin to produce a pattern and/or stimulation. Can also be part of scarification. This is a blood sport. 

Cyber: a term used to mean online.  It can be used for a “cyber Dom,” someone who only is dominant online, a relationship, as in “cyber pal,” or as a verb when referring to cyber sex.

D&S, Dominance and Submission: may be used interchangeable with BDSM or may refer specifically to a relationship in which there is a power exchange. 

Discipline: the application of stimuli that, outside of a scene, would be painful. Common discipline methods are spanking, whipping and flogging. 

Dominant: a woman or man who assumes control over a submissive partner. 

Dominatrix: taken from the Latin feminine of the term 'dominator', this is also used sometimes to distinguish a “professional,” a woman who charges for BDSM scenes.  Sexual contact between the professional Dominatrix and her client is usually avoided due to the illegality of charging for sexual service. 

Dominitus, Domitus, Top's Disease: derogatory term applied to dominants who allow their ego to run rampant.  It implies the Top believes he is both all-powerful and infallible. 

Domme, FemDom: a female dominant. 

Dungeon Monitor, D/M: the person at a party or in a dungeon who is responsible for making sure that activities and scenes are conducted in a manner that is safe, sane and consensual.  Their word is law in such situations.

Dungeon: public or private space set aside for BDSM activity, usually furnished with equipment such as spanking benches or crosses. 

Edge Play: edge play varies with the individual but is usually defined as either activities in which the intrinsic opportunity for harm is high, such as breath control, or those involving “edges,” such as knives or scalpels. 

Edge Player: a person who takes part in edgeplay. 

Elastrator: a tong-like veterinary device that applies elastic bands to various body parts.  These bands are used to castrate young animals, so prolonged wearing must be avoided. 

Electroplay, Electrotorture: using electrical devices such as a TENS unit or violet wand for stimulation.  Particular precautions must be taken with this activity, such as only using devises powered by low-charge batteries, and never placing contacts above the waist, even the hands and arms because the heart and the brain have their own electrical activity.  Those with epilepsy or bi-polar disorders should also investigate these devices thoroughly before using.

EMS Unit: an electrical toy similar to a TENS unit.  EMS stands for Electrical Muscle Stimulator.

Endorphins: an opiate-like chemical produced by the body that appears to be involved in the regulation of the perception of pain.  The euphoria of “sub space” in scenes where pain is intense is probably a direct response to these chemicals. 

Equine Play, Equestrian Play: play involving role playing as horses and their owners and/or trainers.

Equipment or Toys: the items and paraphernalia used within a BDSM scene.

FA, Fat Admirer: someone with a fetish for fat people. 

Fetish: the attribution of sexual characteristics to items that have no intrinsic connection to sex, such as shoes.  Shoes themselves have nothing to do with sex, but a shoe fetishist finds shoes to be sexually arousing despite that.

Fire Play: an activity for experienced players only, it involves a very small amount of alcohol placed on the skin and ignited.  Fire should be kept away from the hair, flammable clothing, or any other objects that might be ignited.  The alcohol burns off quickly and the fire goes out, though the dominant should always be ready to pat out the fire immediately and have extinguishers and first aid items at hand.

Fisting: also known as fist fucking, this is the insertion of a hand into a vagina or anus. 

Flag, Flagging: the use of color-coded bandannas, called "hankies" or "flags,” to make others aware of your interests.  The hanky code was developed in the gay community and is still used there, though it isn’t as common as it once was. 

Flogger: a whip consisting of a number of stands, called tails or falls, attached to a handle.  They may be made of leather, rubber, rope, plastic, or any other flexible material and are usually broader and have blunt ends.

Foot Worship, Foot Service: offering oral service in the shape of sucking, kissing or licking the bare foot. 

Forced Feminization: “forcing” a male submissive to take on the appearance and/or mannerisms of a female.  This may be either as simple as insisting on specific items of clothing or makeup, or as elaborate as a complete transformation. Despite the use of the term “force,” this is usually something the male submissive desires.

French Maid: play in which the submissive (male or female) dress in a French maid’s uniform. Service of food and/or drinks may also take place.  Can be similar to sissy maid training. 

Gates of Hell: a CBT device consisting of a series of straps or rings placed around the flaccid penis, so as the submissive becomes aroused, the straps cut into the penis.

Gender Dysphoria: the clinical term applied to people who do not identify with their biological sex  

Gender Fuck: the practice of emulating or partially emulating the opposite sex, often but not always with the purpose of shocking others. This might include a woman dressed in feminine clothes but wearing a strap-on. 

Genitorture: a general term used for activities such as CBT that center on the genitals.  This is a term used for both sexes. 

Go Word: an agreed-upon word or signal given by the submissive to indicate that everything is fine and the dominant can continue or increase the current activity. 

Gor, Gorean: a system and/or lifestyle based on the science fiction books written by John Norman beginning in the 1970’s describing a world of male Masters and female “kajira’s” or slaves.

Gorean Master: a male dominant who adopts the lifestyle as portrayed in the Gor books of John Norman 

GS, Golden Showers: activities including bladder control, urination on the submissive and ingestion of urine. 

Handcuffs: metal restraints used in law enforcement.  They may also be used in BDSM activities, but great care must be exercised; due to the metal construction, they can damage nerves and bones.

Hard Limits: activities that are beyond what is acceptable to either partner in a BDSM relationship.  Some may be determined by personal choice, i.e., the choice not to be branded or pierced, some may be dictated by physical necessity, such as an allergy to latex or arthritic joints.  Hard limits are those which may not be pushed.  Tops are as likely to have hard limits as bottoms. 

Hogtie: a specific bondage position in which the ankles and wrists are bound behind the back.

Horse: a piece of equipment to which the bottom can be attached, usually leaving them in a position that exposes the buttocks. 

Humbler: a CBT device made of two long pieces of wood with a cutaway in the middle for the testicles.  It is placed on the submissive while he kneels.  The balls are brought back between the legs, while the long pieces of wood are clamped together, resting against the back of the legs.  The name comes from the fact that it is impossible to stand while wearing a humbler because of the stretching of the scrotal sack.

Hurt, not Harm: an accepted BDSM ethic stating that one can “hurt,” that is, inflict pain, but that one must not “harm,” that is do permanent damage of a physical or emotional type. 

Immobilization: using rope or other bondage means to render a submissive immobile.  

Infantilism: age play involving role-play as infants.  See “Adult Babies.”

Infibulation: an activity that restrains the genitals to prevent intercourse or arousal, usually by piercing and/or suturing or sewing.

Interrogation Scene: a scene in which the submissive is interrogated for information.  This may be real information that the submissive has obtained, either knowingly or unknowingly, or it may be revolve around information that does not truly exist to begin with.

Japanese Bondage: an elaborate series of knots and rope work.  Like a rope harness, its purpose is often more decorative than truly constrictive.

Kajira: a term for a female slave taken from the John Norman Gor series. 

Kink, Kinky: an interest or fetish or a person who possesses one which is outside the mainstream.

Kink-Friendly: a person or establishment that may not be kinky themselves, but are welcoming and non-judgmental to those who are kinky.  A kink-friendly chiropractor, for instance, would be supportive regarding injuries incurred in a BDSM scene. 

Kink-Positive: a person or a thing that portrays kink or the leather lifestyle in a positive way, such as a magazine article or a therapist. 

LDR: acronym used for the term "long-distance relationship." It usually refers to those who have a cyber relationship but live in physically distant locations.

Leather Pride Flag: a recently designed symbol of the BDSM lifestyle. 

Lifestyle: refers to the Leather lifestyle, including the integration of various aspects of BDSM into one’s everyday life.  “In the lifestyle” normally refers to someone who is active within BDSM relationships and/or groups. 

Lifestylers: people who integrate their BDSM interests into their lifestyle as a whole.  This usually means that they identify themselves as dominant or submissive in personality, and that they are actively involved in BDSM relationship(s).  They may or may not be involved in the Leather community as well. 

Limits: the boundaries set by a dominant or submissive regarding what they will and will not do.  Limits may be hard, meaning something they would not do in any situation, or soft, meaning things they might do in some circumstances but not all.  Limits change over time and may be expanded, but should never be ignored. 

LTR: the acronym for "long-term relationship," meaning something more than casual play partners.

Lunge: a long thin whip used in coach and carriage-driving. 

Malacca: a thick cane with a knob-shaped handle at one end. 

Manacle: a metal ring attached to a chain to restrain the wearer. 

Martinet: a small flogger usually having six leather falls, which are the same length as the handle. 

Masochism, Masochist: the ability to derives pleasure from pain or a person who does so. The term comes from the writer Leopold von SacherMasoch, who explored the concept in his writings and his life. 

Master, Mistress: a master is a male dominant; a mistress is a female dominant. In general, a Master or a Mistress participates in a power exchange relationship with their partner(s). 

 Master/slave, Mistress/slave: consensual BDSM relationship involving the “ownership” of the slave by the Master or Mistress.  Also referred to as M/s.

Medical Scene: a scene involving a medical procedure or role-playing. 

Meet and Greet: a social gathering for those interested in BDSM, similar to a munch.

Mind Fuck: also known as mind games, head games or head trips, this is a manipulation in which the bottom is made to expect or believe something that may or may not be true.  A Top might tell a submissive that they must eat a roach, then feed them a potato chip.  For the submissive, the crunch of the chip would seem to be the shell of the roach, yet they would not ingest an actual insect. Play of this kind is not for novices, since it may have unexpected consequences.

Mummification: immobilizing a submissive by wrapping them.  The most common material used is plastic wrap.  Duct tape may be added on top of the plastic for added immobilization.  Vet wrap can also be used for mummification.

Munch: a casual social gathering, usually in a public location or restaurant, at which those with an interest in BDSM may meet and socialize with others who share their interest in a low-key and safe environment.

Negotiation: the process used to arrive at an agreed upon scope of activities which may be incorporated into a scene or a relationship.  This can be very quick in the case of a casual play scene or very lengthy in the case of two or more people negotiating how they will handle every portion of their life together.  The more intimate and long-term the relationship is, the more likely that re-negotiation will take place as partner’s interests and limits change over time. 

New Guard: a recent movement which strives to combine some of the Old Guard standards of protocol and hierarchy with some of the more current standards of role-playing, younger people in the lifestyle and the insurgence of people entering through exploration on the Internet. 

Novice, Newbie: a new or inexperienced person.

Objectification: the practice or desire of being used as an object, such as a table or footstool.

Old Guard: a loose organization of leather clubs and families, circa 1940-1950, that established rituals and protocol for the leather lifestyle, most based on a militaristic and very regimented approach. 

OTK, Over the Knee: a term which refers to the position of a body laying over the lap to be spanked.

Paddle: a flat instrument for striking the body, particularly the buttocks.  It is usually but not always made of wood. 

Pain Slut, Pain Puppy: someone, either male or female, who enjoys intense pain; a masochist.  This is not considered an insulting term, normally.

Pain Threshold: the point at which pain ceases to be pleasant or bearable and becomes more than the submissive chooses to accept. 

Panic Snap: A linking device used with cable and chain that allows two lengths to be disconnected even when there is tension on the cable and/or chain; a safety device. 

Pansexuality: a term which strives to encompass all the sexual orientations commonly found within the leather community, including heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, polyamory, transexuality and transgenderism. 

Panty Training, Petticoat Training: the “forcing” of a male submissive to wear panties and/or other items of female apparel.  As in the term “forced feminization,” the submissive is not truly being forced to dress in this manner. 

Parachute: a CBT device consisting of a cone-shaped collar which fits around the testicles, and has chains around the rim for one to attach weights.  When weights are attached, this stretches the scrotal sack.

Percussion Play: a term that encompasses all forms of play that include striking.  Among them are caning, spanking or paddling, and whipping or flogging. 

Pervertible: a term used to describe objects intended for everyday household usage that can also be appropriated for BDSM uses.  Common pervertibles are clothespins, wooden spoons, spatulas, hair clips, rulers, paint stirrers, fly swatters, feather dusters and window blind rods.

Pet: a term used affectionately when referring to a submissive, or a term of endearment towards a submissive.

Piercing, Permanent or Play: the modification of the body via a piercing of the skin and/or the flesh.  In a permanent piercing, jewelry is inserted to keep the piercing open.  The piercing heals around the jewelry, leaving a permanent hole.  In temporary piercing, needles are inserted for short periods of time, then removed.  

Play Partner: a partner within a BDSM setting.  Usually refers to someone with whom the relationship is less casual than to someone with whom one has a committed relationship.

Play Party, Dungeon Party: a party that includes public BDSM scenes.

Play Space: a dungeon or space set aside for BDSM activities. 

Play: a term for a BDSM encounter. 

Players: someone in the lifestyle or with scene experience.  Someone who prefers edgeplay or total power exchange relationships may be referred to as a heavy or hardcore player. 

Polyamory: the practice of having multiple emotional and/or physical relationships, usually conducted openly. 

Ponyboy, Ponygirl: the submissive pony in an Owner/Trainer and animal relationship. 

Power Exchange: the consensual transfer of power to the dominant from the submissive within a relationship. 

Propeller: a CBT activity in which a length of slender rope is wrapped around the shaft of the penis, then pulled off rapidly, causing the penis to slightly rotate as the string is pulled.

Public Play: a BDSM scene or session conducted in a non-private format.  That may range from a small gathering of friends to a large event with many other people present.

Puppy: the submissive puppy in an Owner/Trainer and animal relationship

Pushing Limits: the process of stretching a submissive’s comfort levels and willingness to experience sensations and situations.  This should be a mutually agreed upon goal, and should never be confused with violating limits. 

Quirt: A long coaching whip -- see lunge whip 

R/T: acronym for "real time." This is used in online situations to distinguish “real time” from online, as in “a R/T relationship,” or “R/T calls.” 

RACK, Risk Aware Consensual Kink: a term that recognizes that while no activity is completely safe, awareness of the risk is necessary for true consent.

Rack: an item of bondage furniture with a horizontal platform to which someone can be attached.  In Medieval times, this included a device for stretching out the body once it was attached, but modern racks normally do not for obvious reasons. 

Relaxicisor: electrical device similar to a TENS unit, sometimes used in electrical play. 

Respecting Limits: an ethical requirement for both partners in a BDSM relationship to abide by the limits the other has set down.  This may refer to play situations only, such as not using a gag, or may refer to situations such as maintaining a monogamous relationship with a partner.

Role-Playing: play involving the taking on of specific characters or scenes, such as an interrogation scene or a pirate and kidnapped wench.

Rope Harness: a mostly-decorative arrangements of rope that fit close to the body and are not necessarily designed to constrict movement.

S&M, Sadism and Masochism: having to do with the giving or receiving pain; bear in mind that not all dominants are sadists, nor are all submissives masochists.  This refers to a very specific and limited portion of BDSM. 

Sacher-Masoch, Leopold von (1836-1895): aristocratic Austrian writer whose semi-autobiographical novel, “Venus in Furs,” published in 1869, was an early account of a Mistress-slave relationship.  The psychologist Krafft-Ebing immortalized him by naming masochism after him. 

Sade, Marquis de Donatien Alphonse François, Comte de Sade (1740-1817): French philosopher, novelist and revolutionary whose novels are known as much for their incendiary political viewpoints as for their portrayals of sexual violence.  The psychologist Krafft-Ebing minted the term “sadism” after the Marquis. 

Sadist: An individual who enjoys inflicting pain regardless of whether or not consent has been obtained.  An ethical sadist is one who requires consent.  The term is derived from the writing and life of the Marquis de Sade. 

Safe Call: a prearranged phone call in which someone who is meeting or playing with someone contacts another outside the situation to assure that they are safe and not in danger.  Both dominants and submissives and men and women should use safe calls whenever they play with anyone who is not yet well known to them.

Safe Word: a word, expression or gesture previously agreed upon that allows the submissive to stop the action within a scene at any point he or she needs to or chooses to.  In situations where the bottom may be unable to speak, a gesture should be agreed upon.

Safe: an activity in which the potential risks for harm is minimized as far as possible without compromising the intent or sensation of the activity.  No activity is completely safe.

SAM, Smart-Ass Masochist: a submissive who likes to behave in a bratty or disobedient manner in order to obtain punishment from a dominant. 

Scarification: the ritual use of scars to either form a pattern or mark someone as property or chattel.

Scat: a slang term for scatophilia, meaning an interest in playing with and sometimes ingesting feces. The health risks associated with this act are many and severe. 

Scene (A): a BDSM encounter.

Scene (The): the Leather lifestyle; someone who is “in the Scene” is usually active within groups and/or organizations and has BDSM relationships. 

Self-Bondage: bondage on oneself, usually done during solo play.  Great care must be taken that the bonds can be escaped. 

Sensory Deprivation: removing the stimulus of the senses for a submissive.  This might include mummification, blindfolding and putting headphones on them to drown out sound.

Session: used interchangeably with the term, “scene,” referring to a specific BDSM encounter. 

Shackle: metal restraints consisting of cuffs joined by a chain or bars.  Again, with all metal restraints, great care must be used. 

Sharps: may refer specifically to needles, as in the disposal of “sharps,” or may refer to anything else with the potential to break the skin and/or spill blood, including knives, razors or scalpels.

Shibari: a form of Japanese bondage.

Signal Whip, Singletail: a short flexible whip, usually between 3’ and 5’ long, currently very popular within the scene.  The original and vanilla purpose is to signal dogs teams, hence the term “signal whip.”

Sissy Maid: a submissive male cross-dresser who derives pleasure from serving his dominant in domestic situations, such as cleaning, cooking and serving food.

Sjambok: a South African cane, carved from dried elephant or rhinoceros hide.

Slapper: a type of paddle with a second surface that slaps the other to create a sharp noise on contact. 

Slave Contract: a written documentation of the terms and limits of a relationship between a slave and Master or Mistress. It normally encompasses a clearly defined time frame, such as six months or one year.  It addresses the various aspects of their lives together and how those aspects will be handled. 

Slave: sometimes used interchangeably with submissive, although it may indicate a more intense level of submission, or submission outside the limited arena of play.  A slave is generally considered to be owned property and chattel of the Master or Mistress. 

Slow Word: a signal or gesture used by the submissive to let the dominant know that they are approaching the submissive’s threshold and that the stimulation should change or lessen. 

Snap Clip: a steel hook with two clips, one on either end, used to attach cuffs or other restraints to equipment.

Sound: a medical implement designed to be inserted into the urethra, usually consisting of a smooth metal bar, which may be straight or hooked. 

Spanking Bench: a piece of dungeon equipment designed to be knelt on, to offer easy access to the backside.

Spanking: hitting someone with the flat of the palm, typically on the buttocks. 

Spencer Paddle: a wooden paddle with holes drilled in striking surface, increasing the speed at which it travels through the air. 

Spreader Bar: a length of wood or steel with fasteners at either end, designed to keep a submissives arms or legs spread when attached to it via cuffs or restraints.

Squick:  an unpleasant reaction or response to a specific BDSM activity, such as “needles squick me.” 

SSC, Safe, Sane and Consensual: the basic ethical standard of BDSM. It requires that activities be as safe as is possible, that they be sane in their assessment of possible damage or harm, and that they be consensual acts between adults who are able to judge and weigh the risks involved and offer informed consent. First formulated by David Stein, for GMSMA, the Gay Male Sado-Masochist Activists, a pioneering New York-based educational and campaigning group. 

St. Andrew’s Cross: a piece of dungeon equipment shaped like an X, with attachments at the four points for wrists and ankles.

St. George's Cross: the traditional “t” shaped cross usually associated with Christian crucifixion.

Sting: the sensation of stinging on the skin, as opposed to thud.

Stocks: a piece of dungeon equipment based on the Puritans design.  It features two hinged pieces of wood with openings to trap the neck and wrists.  While in stocks, one is forced to remain partially bent at the waist, leaving the backside exposed.

Straight 8: a specific type of handcuff. 

Straight Jacket: A garment with closed-ended sleeves that can be strapped around the person's body, this is sometimes also used for bondage. 

Strapple: An elongated somewhat flexible paddle. 

Submissive: an individual who takes on the submissive role within a BDSM situation or scene.  This may be only for the extent of the scene, or may extend into other areas of their lives.

Subspace: an euphoric state that a submissive reaches, usually described as a sensation of flying or floating.

Suspension Cuffs: a kind of restraint specifically designed to be especially comfortable when used to secure the arms over the head.  They usually offer a handgrip of some kind for the submissive to grasp.

Suspension: a method of suspending a submissive or bottom so that no portion of their body rests on the floor.  This is a technique that can be potentially very dangerous, and should only be used by those who are very experienced.  Generally, when the term suspension is used, it refers to securing the arms over the head, but not truly suspending the submissive off the floor. 

Switch, Switchable: a person who can take on both the dominant and submissive role. A switch may be dominant to one person and submissive with others or may switch between dominance and submission with the same person at different times. 

Tack: gear used with and on horses, with items of it often adopted for the BDSM lifestyle

Take Down Scenes: a scene that involves the physical overpowering of the submissive, who may or may not realize precisely what is happening.  This might be played out for a submissive with a rape fantasy.  Scenes such as this are for experienced players only as there is potential for harm to either the submissive or the dominant(s) in the scene.

Tawse: a split leather strap on a wooden handle, used by Scottish schoolmasters in the past.

TENS Unit: an electrical device that delivers a pulse between two electrodes that are placed on the skin.  TENS stands for Transcutaneous Electrical Neural Stimulation unit.

Thud: the sensation of weight hitting the skin, as opposed to sting.

TNG, The Next Generation: the younger generation within the BDSM scene, usually those from 18-35.

Toilet Slave: a submissive who wishes to serve as a toilet for a dominant, or may have a fetish for toilets or for cleaning them.

Top: person who assumes the dominant role within a BDSM scene, but who may or may not have a relationship of power exchange with a submissive. 

Topping from the Bottom: for a submissive to dictate the course of a BDSM scene. Usually used derogatorily, about a manipulative submissive who overtly assumes the submissive role while still trying to direct the action.

Topping: to assume the role of the Top within a BDSM scene.

Topspace: a state reached by the dominant in a BDSM scene, usually described as the narrowing of focus on the submissive(s.) 

Toy Slut: usually referring to a dominant who has a number of toys, or is particularly fond of toys.  It can also refer to a submissive, but is less commonly used in that sense.

TPE, Total Power Exchange: usually referring to a relationship in which the submissive turns over total power to the dominant and allows them to choose the course of their lives and relationship in and out of a specific scene or session.  A Master or Mistress and slave relationship is normally a TPE one.

Trampling: an aspect of a foot or shoe fetish in which the fetishist wishes to be walked on or “trampled” underfoot, often by a woman wearing stiletto or spike heels.

Transgendered, Transgenderist, Transsexual: someone who either enjoys or needs to express their identity as a member of the opposite sex to which they were born.  Those born as biological males who desire a female identity are male-to-female or m-t-f.  Biological females who desire male identities are female-to-male or f-t-m.  This desire may extend to sex reassignment surgery, or may only be expressed by method of dress and manner.

Transvestite: also known as TV or cross-dresser, this is a person who finds emotional and/or erotic gratification by wearing clothing associated with the opposite sex. 

Trigger,Button: an action or situation that results in an unexpectedly strong emotional or psychological reaction.  

TT, Tit Torture: rough handling of the nipples, including but not limited to the application of clamps or wax, the term applies to both males and females. 

Vanilla: not in the BDSM lifestyle.  A term used to describe life outside the scene, or those who have no interest in it. 

Vet Wrap: a veterinary supply, used to wrap an injured limb and immobilize it.  The wrap, which is available in pet supply stores, adheres to itself, but can only be used once.

Violet Wand: a device for electrical stimulation, based on the principals of static electricity.  While this may be generally safe, anyone with bipolar, epileptic or any other kind of chemical imbalance should gather more information before using it on themselves or others.

Wannabe: someone who professes to an interest in BDSM but is unable or unwilling to actually participate in an appropriate manner.  Usually meant as an insult.

Wartenburg Wheel or Pinwheel: a neurological device used to test reactions.  It is a stainless steel wheel of very sharp metal spikes, shaped a pizza wheel with teeth.

water knot A strong knot for tying two ropes together, ideal for use with wet rope or other slippery 

Water Sports: a general grouping of activities that includes golden showers, enemas, etc. 

Waxplay: play that involves the use of wax dripped on the skin.  Beeswax candles should never be used and scented and colored candles should be used only after testing.  The addition of color and scent can sometime raise the potential for lasting burns.

Whipping Post: an upright post to which someone can be attached, used in Medieval times for public whippings. 

WIITWD: an acronym for "What It Is That We Do.”  The activities engaged in by those who are interested in BDSM.

Zipper: a toy created by joining a series of clothespins together by way of string or rope.  The clothespins are attached to the skin, then pulled off in rapid succession.  The sound made as they are pulled off gives it its name.